acousticarousel

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:50:51 GMT

Whenever you come to visit, I will not sleep. I can sleep. Or can't sleep... I don't know. I've never tried sleeping when you're here. I hate you, but I don't mind accompanying you. There was once you came to visit me everyday. Emotionless and lifeless. Bleakness you brought and bring with you. Normally I dont, but I obey my heart when you're here.

I've been browsing through the photos. Not very old, most of them taken within this year. I don't know if it's nostalgia I'm feeling right now, or just the feeling of knowing that I've outgrown that period of time. Each picture I see myself differently. Each picture I remember different emotions, and different event happenings. Again, this feeling's back to haunt me. This old friend, empty and cold. My heart seems very far right now, feels like it's somewhere I can't reach. When I look back at photos taken in Aussie, I'm actually questioning myself if I've really been there. Have I really been there this whole year? Was I there... for real? It's just pretty weird right now. It's just being in an environment, thinking about the existence of the other. The existence of me in the other.

And I know, if I don't practise, soon I'll lose it.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:59:33 GMT

Hmm, is it true that being a Libra I'll have to go an extra mile?

I can't sleep. I just kept on thinking. When I think of going home.. I think of being detached from so many things. Especially Taiwan. I remember when I last went back for New Year and all my relatives were gathered in the old house, I felt so detached from them. I haven't been in touch with most of them, just a few that live in Taipei. Umm, when I reached the house, I knew it was going to be awkward. I don't know what those long-time-no-see relatives were gonna' say to me. "You look like a boy!"... "Eh you became fatter!"... or if I happened to lose weight from the previous visit then "You became thinner..". Well, at least these were the 3 prominent things I remember them saying. I remember everyone else being so close to each other, so much more in common to talk about and to do together.

I didn't really wanna be there. But actually when I was 10, there was once when I was downstairs my house, and there were groups of people bbq-ing together. At that very moment I actually felt a tinge of nostalgia, when I wanted so much to gather with my cousins and relatives and have the same kind of bbq. I was downstairs with one aunt, and I remembered I cried. Thinking back, perhaps I knew I missed them. Perhaps I knew it would also never be the same as before if I see them again. I didn't think we would be so different? Because I was young and stupid, I didn't know alot of things. It didn't cross my mind that we were being brought up in different cultures, facing different people, living in a different environment. Physically it wasn't the same, but I didn't know it would be more than that. It pained me to look at the groups of people having fun, and when I went up, I wrote my mum a letter saying how much I wanna be back there. And she assured me we will, often.

Most of the time when I was back there, I stayed in the city and only interacted with the relatives there. I never saw how close my cousins were with the other cousins, and how they behaved differently when they were together. As I said, the most recent time when I went back for New Year, everything felt so strange. The closest cousin to me even ignored and left me there most of the time, and went off playing with the rest. I was the only teen in the house with adults when the rest of the group were gone. Her mum scolded her after that, and she came to apologize about leaving me alone. Even her mum could tell. So I thought.. maybe.. hmm. But yeah, it's alright, because I understand, who wouldn't wanna play with others who are more fun, and who have much more in common with you? The dynamics are just different. I can't ask them to change for me. I'm a minority.

And because of stuffs like these, it discourage you to make further inroads. Hmm.. And because I know we'll surely go back again this time. I know I'll have to pick myself up over this small matter and try to assimilate.

And everyday, or rather night, I just think about the limited freedom I have to face when I get back. I don't like it, when I'm already used to a carefree life here. I can do anything I want, eat, sleep, wear. Just, anything I want. I'm just not in the state to get back, because even if I've accepted how my parents were all these years, I can't anymore. It just feels as if I may explode anytime if they restrict me to anything. Apparently I'm the only one who feels this way besides another friend, but that's because my parents are way more protective than anyone else. So protective that they don't know what makes me happy or not. And so suggestive of things that won't make me so. I love my parents with no doubt. And I'm not that sort of person who can stay angry for a long period of time, so it'll never turn to hatred. I've been pushing limits, and I think they've gradually understanding that I've changed.

I really don't wanna stay here for 3 months. But I don't really wanna go home either.

How sad is a home which you don't feel like going back to?

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:07:54 GMT

I don't know if anyone knows I still post or not.

This blog, again, is becoming another creation out of free time. It's growing cobwebs. I don't know why I don't even feel a tinge of inspiration to write anything. It's been so long, to even catch up. You know, sometimes you just get that adrenaline rush through your body. I don't feel it anymore, especially revolving writing. All I can think about now is how am I going to spend 3 months back at home, under my parent's scrutiny, evasive behavior. All I can think about now is how to break free of the chains that have once held me, and are still cuffed hard around my wrists. I think I will spend more time with my dog. I always think so, but when Im around him I tend to neglect him. Poor boy. He ignores me too. Just like how I don't give enough attention to him. I'm still not used to a new house surrounding. In fact, I don't like it, I prefer Costa, 7 refreshing pools, sauna, and tennis courts situated suitably beside the pools. I loved it. Love. But the beach breeze made my mum's bags mouldy, and many other things. I know Odie prefers it back there, he seems happier, and because the place downstairs' bigger for him to run around. The new place seems so much more crammed up downstairs, I don't like it. I hate that claustrophobic feeling. I wonder if I can persuade my parents to move back there. Rah. Then I've gotten a new maid. And I gotta' get used to a new person in the house again after Ruby, even though I never really like-like Ruby. They say this maid treats Odie better, cooks better, and massage better. haha. Erik's the best.

I really don't feel like writing already. I just need a new guitar.

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:48:02 GMT

i love you lee kengyin!

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 06:46:20 GMT

POP TARTS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 12:26:38 GMT

Hey guys.

Canberra's been pretty okay. It's a small little city like Singapore but it's really compact? You can find basically everything you want and need over at Canberra centre which is like the main shopping mall in Canberra. (There's only one for where I live). The ANU campus itself is awesome! It's full of bushes and nature, willow trees, maple tree.. and it looks really beautiful. It doesn't look like a campus cause it's super huge and the natural decorations make it look even more grand. It's a nice place to be in if you actually love nature? The air here's super clean, no signs of pollution and whatsoever. The weather's good. I missed the heat. The day I came the temp dropped from 30+ deg celsius to bout 20+? And the winds are chilly.. the night temp's like 14? Fwwwuuhhh~ I was at a loss with my berms on that day. Hm. I stayed with my parents over at the hotel nearby for a couple of days, and I officially moved in last night. John's pretty okay. No racism like what some of you may have suggested. The Aussies are really friendly people. If there's racism here, it gotta' be so much worse elsewhere in Aussie. One thing though, their accent's really hard to catch. It's like a speed bullet train. I'll just go huh? each time they speak. And they go ay? everytime I speak. Lol. The residential college I'm in's not at all dirty, it's just kinda' old as it has a history of 23 years. The kind of old's pretty nice though. Gives a homely feeling. The floor's carpeted and centrally heated in winter. Apparently it was freezing cold the night before and I tried to on the damn heater but since it's centrally operated, I couldn't. And damn, too bad it's summer with a cold weather.

The only bad thing though's the internet. ): Yeah I gotta' pay the reception for a connection fee (wtf?) and I've to also buy credit for internet? Apparently every mb's chargeable like 1.5 cents per mb? I was like waddafuck. So I actually don't go online much nor download stuffs cause every cent counts. There was free wireless at John's last year, but they removed it cause people with laptops were abusing it by downloading too much, and causing too much traffic over the network so you know, the quality of the network was pretty slow. I don't miss any part of Singapore. I just miss my girlfriend, my dogs, and little home and my friends. No I don't miss Orchard, though the shops here are never heard of. Oh havianas are really cheap they're getting on my nerves. I was like wth when I saw the price tags. The limited ed ones are selling at a rather more affordable price than the rip-offs in Sg. The clothes are pretty nice though.. I haven't bought any. I'm not in the mood to shop till I get settled down. Ogayy~ goodnight it's 3 hours later here. I'm really worn out. The orientation stuffs are really packed. We have a scavenger hunt tmr, I hope it'll be fun. I'll post some pics of the surroundings up here when Im free.

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 15:26:20 GMT

tell me that you will wait for me.

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 16:17:03 GMT

So my visa got approved afterall. Hm am real busy these few days, trying to settle all the necessary stuffs before going over to Canberra. Yikes, and Rhon said there's a heat wave over in Aussie now.. I'm fretting about the non-airconditioned hostel I've been allocated to already..

huh it's 2009?

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 18:15:54 GMT

Just attended the ANU pre-departure briefing this afternoon. Let's pray hard that my visa gets approved before I go.. or I've to waste another half a year over here again after preparing so hard for everything.

I still feel like I'm living in 2008. I felt the sense of a "new year" only when I saw the fireworks during New Year's eve. Now I feel all the same. I'm not really counting the days. I don't have specific plans that I'm looking forward to. It just feels like, my time and life are depleting as the days pass unknowingly. Today it's the 12th. I probably have less than a month left before going to Canberra. But it's 50-50. And I disdain this feeling. The feeling of not knowing what your fate is like. It's exactly like the night before the release of O and A Levels results. Just that the answer will come as a surprise, and I don't exactly have to walk into school to know. People always ask why did I choose boring Canberra over rich, cosmopolitan Melbourne or busy, crowded Sydney? Well, it's simple enough. Because I've experienced city life for the past 16 years of my life here in Singapore. And I'm pretty sick of it. You'll say but it's even worse in Canberra because it's suburb, but well, I'd prefer some peace and no distraction over there than a bigger city you can find in Melb or Syd. Personal preference I guess. And it's all about moulding myself. I'm not super materialistic. Haha, but whenever I think about how I am quite a little sometimes, it does get on my nerves. I wanna' achieve more than material things? And probably a good and quiet place like Canberra can help me find that inner balance in my heart. I'm not saying those who go to Melb or Syd are.. But like again, I made this choice for me. And it's not my general opinion at all. Like I said before, I wanna' be fuller at heart, fuller in my head. Not being smarter, but to be filled with more knowledge, books or not, experience, blablabla.. However, if my visa gets deferred in Feb, then I will not be able to do what I want. Because then my parents may wanna' put Melb on their priority list since it's nearer. And yeah, I can stay with people I know. But I guess.. give a little, take a little huh.

Indeed, I can comprehend how everyone frowns at 2008. Economic crisis everywhere. Also, the past year flew like it never did for me before because I was a good-for-nothing that year. I had time on my hands, somewhat pursuing crap, but also warmed many friendships back up again.. I suffered some humiliation which I don't really wanna' talk about all over again in the early year. I went through a break up, yes it was real, I thought it was for real. Well, bad, but since we've patched it's fine again.Though, if you asked me if I've achieved anything that year, I would say yes.. and that's courage. A little more extensive courage which I've been needing. Going out to people. Pushing so hard for something never felt so good. Like the coffee business. We had a short exibition, but I've experienced much. And it's fun overall. It's attracting me to being a potential businesswoman. Aww. My coffee empire.

Now, I'm on a determined road to diet. Today's buffet dinner at the pre-departure briefing, guess what?! I did not even touch a piece of dessert.

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 10:36:21 GMT

Is it necessary when you miss someone, you love that person?

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:43:17 GMT

Recently, my Dad's been throwing tantrums at me every now and then. However, I told him to buy cherries for me and he did just that this afternoon. Gahaha.

The time of the year's here again! Hm, feels like it's my "last" xmas in Singapore. Well I've been staying here since I was three, never moving much except going back and forth to Taiwan. It's really fast if you haven't realise, I'm already nineteen. It's like woahhh.. How sixteen years flew by with lightning speed. Hm it's not like I will miss this place much. I'll miss my home though, with my dogs. But besides a few loved ones I have over here, there's nothing I'll miss in Singapore. Not the Orchard Road which you can finish walking in a day, not the nature cause there ain't any, not the fun you can have at the theme park (there's only one and they don't even open it everyday, god). Somehow I can't wait to get the hell outta' here, but if I was so, I would have gone earlier if there weren't some stuffs and people tugging at my heartstrings a few years ago. I don't know how life in hostel will be like. Hm, will people like me for who I am? Will study life be hard over there? Will I have friends? Will the toilet be dirty (very impt!!!!)? You'll just be pretty excited yet nervous for the new life you're gonna' lead starting from Feb'09. I keep thinking how life will be like for me in another ten years time. Yeah I'll tell you in ten years time.

I pretty hope Christmas will be happily spent this time. I want nice memories before I leave.

Btw, ky tried to stand up from her chair and stuck her last toe into the fan hole and tripped. I couldn't stop myself from laughing, so there you go, Merry Xmas.

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 15:15:15 GMT

if you have some time to spare, go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0kcwgyAnFo

WATCH THIS ITS HILARIOUS SHIT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx1We6GX4IM

& THIS IS THE SWEETEST & CUTEST THING EVER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDWrrUmk4Ck

& watch this till the end, so darn cute.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:59:44 GMT

OBAMA!

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 07:14:06 GMT

I can't foresee what I'm gonna' be in 5 years time. What am I gonna' look like, how am I gonna' bring myself to others? Am I on the right track, or has life simply veered me into a one-way street which was determined since I don't know how many light years ago. What am I truly pursuing in life? Fame, wealth, relationships, simplicity or what? I don't even know myself. I only know that since I was born, I've never been the best, the outstanding. I'm an exact average school kid, fine at some skills, absurb at some. It's really taxing thinking of the one day when I'm gonna' really excel in something that I do. Something others would look up to me for, that people would go "wow", that it'll make my loved ones proud of me as I am of myself. You know, everytime I watch something that demands the best to win, like sports or academics, it gives me goosebumps to watch the rising of the most capable, the most talented one outta' so many thousands present there, outta' the billions in the one. He/she will be the only one, excelling brilliantly in an area which he calls his territory. And of course, sidelining it reminds myself that I'm not that person. I'm not someone people look up to, someone people can be proud of. I mean, what the hell am I good at anyway? Am I simply a calefare in this world, my existence merely for the top ones to shine and look down at? It doesn't make me any happier to know that indeed, I am one.

All in all, questioning myself almost everyday has been like a routine. "What the hell am I living for?" Yikes. Really, do we come to this planet to fulfil our wishes, with our goals in mind? Then maybe, or yes indeed, I haven't found my goal. I know I haven't. But I'm really pushing to find it. I'm tapping on this, that, this, that, trying some new stuffs everyday to discover my hidden interest. Or has my interest for something already sprouted, which I'm unknown of? Seeing those people with a clear direction in mind keeps me envious of them. At least they know what they want, at least they know why they exist for, unlike me stumbling around in life forever since. I don't really know what'll become of me. What if, WHAT IF, in 5 years time, I'm still clueless 'bout my life? Like I'm still doubting that I'm on the right pathway. I only know with a new goal, I'll be a different person. An improved and enhanced one. I'll be equipped with more confidence, with a stronger self identity and assertion. I probably would, or could make a difference to this world or someone else. I'm too average already. I'm sick of being average. Now I'm simply following decisions with my heart, hoping I'll never have to face the consequences of I ever regret them someday. I shouldn't right. As long am I'm happy.

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 08:57:06 GMT

Life, as easy as it is. Always like this.

We came with nothing onto this earth, we leave with nothing too. The world's a stopover for our souls uh.

i can't scream at mummy for giving birth to me anymore

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:57:20 GMT

It's been a wild year.

& I'm finally 19.

It's stupid relieving everything again, because words cannot paint out the pictures left in my memory, but I had a great gathering with the girls and later a mini celebration with my gf. When I thought I didn't really want to make it big, neither did I want it to pass so fast. So there, pictures here, and til another year. Thanks for the people who've been with me all this while, friends, family, baby. And you guys just pushed me through my 18, really.

(and one with shawna)

(and one with rhondaaaaaa)

(no rhon i dont look constipated in this one)

(my long candle blackforest cake!)

(you guys have to look at this. omg. the oscar cupcake's the cutest thing ever!)

(and this was her gift to me, it's perfect.)

(i love her)

I've a whole ton of pictures but my fingers will probably cramp to death if I upload them all. I don't know what to say man. To the girls, this is amazing how our friendship never died 2 years ago. Being back together, I know we're just gonna' cherish each other even more. Oh, and she went all the way to amk to get Singapore's best blackforest and the cupcakes at Yishun, & so I asked her today "B, are you crazy over me?" & she said "ya, of course!" (chuckles). LOL. & of course I'm crazy over you just the way you are crazy over me. If you don't think I love my guitar, you're absolutely wrong, I adore it really. And the drawing, something I can never accomplish. It's lovely even if you don't think likewise. The cakes, I have nothing more to say. My tastebuds are jumping. And don't forget, it's not only my birthday, it's our 3rd year anniversary too. Look what time has done to us, made us stronger and more mature. I just wanna' say you're the best thing that has happened to me ever since 3 years ago.

& I seal this entry with love, love for everyone around me, and love for you.

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:09:19 GMT

I guess as people grow up, it just gets more awkward though its understandable?

Hm.. the stock market's a killer. Not like I'm speculating at it. But many people are. Like my parents, so it's my turn to be concerned too since I'm gonna' be indirectly affected by it /gasps. They say it's gonna' be worse than the one in '97. And debates 'bout the fall of America as a superpower are going on strong. Well, I know if the milk powder crisis wasn't exposed in China, she would be the one rising as the ultimate winner. It's like, God sent this recession testing human determination. And for those who can't withstand the harsh reality of losing all your money, you simply find death as an escapade.

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 06:11:29 GMT

Mum's worried about how alike the symptoms I show and the signs of nose cancer are.

Umm.. Let's just say if I do get it.

So what, I'll be having chemotherapy like what, 4-5 days a week?! And I'll be losing hair, looking just like any bald ah pek outside. People will start telling me how shiny my skinhead is, exactly the way I laugh at baldies. Well.. Then my classic fedora will come useful. Then I'll say goodbye to this pitiful world with soft velvety eyes and a downward pull at the corner of my lip in time to come. Actually, what would I be missing? It looks like recession's coming into place (again?) and an accumulated stock bubble's gonna' burst anytime or smth. Maybe in time to come, I'll have a friend reverting back to her laid back life. When I ask, she's gonna' tell me "Oh.. I got laid off". And I'm such a swing voter, though I prefer Obama, I can't deny the fact that McCain is indeed more experienced. If he's gonna' carry on Bush's work.. then, let's pray aye? Rem I said I wanna' be caucasian so even if I'm to be gay my next life at least it'll be more acceptable to their societal norms eh? But it seems the possibility of being a boy in my next life would be higher. Well, sounds like our gender will alternate eh? Palin is fdnveiunvger though. What's with the ~~saving gays~~ campaign ay? You look like a typical Christianity cult follower or smth who wants to spread the religion hoping it'll dominate the world someday. Ha. ha. Sorry I'm pretty against the religion for some reasons or so. It's too.. extreme. Kinda' making people lose their personalities on the whole, or partly otherwise but somehow. Don't expect to save gays, my friend. Coughs. But uh no.. I do respect every religion. I was once a KCian come on, who had to say her prayers every morning during assembly after Majulah Singapura. So well, it's obviously fine if people seek comfort in their own God. I mean, outta' fear or whatever. This isn't a trend anyway. They say lives improve after you convert. I've a live example though. My aunt converted to being a Christian and life ain't going well for her anyw. Seems to be spiralling downwards instead. I'll not go into details.

I think I've been digressing for too long. It's so unrelated to what I'm gonna' miss if I leave this world soon. Ok, actually I'm pretty scared of going to hell. (HA!) I think I'm gonna' stand on the weighing machine and the sins are gonna' pull me down 200kg. Ohhh I have to start doing more good deeds, like my other aunt. She chants the scriptures like every morning and goes for Buddhist chanting every week or smth. And she pushes my aunt's dog around like her own child, AND treating the dog like it IS a human. She seems to be on earth for a mission, saving the world mission :/ And she was nagging about recycling and curbing global warming. She's more missionary than Palin ;) I do not want to be a pig in my next life so there, more good deeds more good deeds. AND FUCK, I forgot to add that some woman called my house yesterday asking if Miso (umm, the cat) was adopted yet. She wants to adopt!!!! But uh, it's gone. Damn parents, if only they allowed me to keep it with us longer, then she'll be adopted. Sheesh. But not like I had some foresight that she will be anyway. I haven't had a call like for I don't know how long ever since I put up the notices. Gosh. So Miso, God's playing you, not me.

Umm.. My dog's looking more and more like my mum. And I do not like the way my dad's not rushing to submit my documents to SFSU. It only shows the chances of moving to Aussie's higher again. I cannot say I ain't materialistic you know. I am.. to an extent :D My whole head's 'bout the volcom jeans and comme des garcons shirt.

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 10:01:57 GMT

Yesterday I just told myself I need to become fuller. My heart needs to be fuller. And not empty. And my brain. And I need to be more enthusiastic about everything.

since october 16th 2005,

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:18:54 GMT

Dear Baby,

Happy 19th Birthday to you! :)

I'm really glad I managed to past twelve'o clock with you. And I'm not really sure how next year will be like when I'm no longer here. I can't say I wanna' spend all my time with you, 'cause afterall, when my time is up, I'll be going off. This year I don't know what to say to you. All mashy mushy stuffs, I've used almost three years telling you. And words, they no longer matter. Is this Shakespeare tragedy or what, that after all we've been through, we still can't be together. Not that we didn't get any approval, but we didn't try anyway 'cause we know what we're truly risking. As farewell nears, I begin to ignore every insecurity I once had in our girl-girl relationship. Not that I really mind about public approval in the past, but I surely don't give a damn right now anymore. I don't have time to. I used to wonder how different my jc life would be without you. But I just can't imagine how perfect it would be when you're not in the picture. Maybe my stress tolerance level wouldn't be as high if you're not around to de-stress me. Maybe I'll play truant more often than I did 'cause I wouldn't have anything to look forward to in school. 'Cause I know those two years were really hard for me? But at least I know someone I love is going through the same obstacle and we can ride it through together. At least I wouldn't feel lonely. You know, I really can't believe a secondary school puppy love lasted so long. The first day I stepped into this relationship, we were both scared crazy. We talked about how we shouldn't stay together since I might be leaving one day. But we were firm on standing by each other. And two years plus just passed like the wind. One thing I know, without jc, our time with one another wouldn't fly as fast. But without jc, we probably wouldn't be together anymore either. Maybe no one can truly understand our relationship. But what we've shared with each other's definitely more than lovers. In a way, we were best friends, sisters, soulmates. People usually say your soulmate's the one you marry. But nah, for me, it's not. (I wanna marry you though.) Only you can understand what I mean right? These few nights, I keep trying to comprehend how do you remove a love that's buried so deep in your heart, and no longer love that person someday? At least to me now, it seems impossible. I can't think of myself seeing you someday, and treating you like a normal friend genuinely. It's sad hearing 'no' when I asked if you'll wait for me. I know it's a stupid question. Though redundant and obvious, I just wanted to know. I wish you would, but I don't want you to. Time will pass snail slow when I'm alone. Even if you won't wait for me.. when I'm back one day, maybe.. maybe when we still love each other in our hearts, I said I'm telling my parents. If, after all those years yet our feelings don't fade, it shows that our love is rooted in our hearts. Perhaps it is possible to change, but definitely harder than how we are now and stronger than anyone else's. That's how I hope the future will be like, but honestly I don't even know what my next step will take us to. I'm sorry we'll have to end this way. It's such a lousy breakup reason when we had a chance to strive for a future.

And I want to tell everyone that

I LOVE YOU,

LEE KENGYIN!

my first album was backstreet boys "we've got it goin' on"

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 08:28:42 GMT

I wonder how my mum'll react if I told her that I'm a lesbian.

Let's have some options, umm:

1)Knowingly hears it but ignores me and pretend as if nothing has happened, continue her changing-me-back-to-a-girl revolution.

2)Pack my stuffs and throw me outta' the house. Vow to never acknowledge a daughter like me.

3)Scream "shameful!" and "abnormal!" and bawl her eyes out. Accept it in the end.

Okay I think option 2's a little exaggerated. Umm, she loves me too much to throw me out knowing I can never survive in the harsh environment outside (coops up like a kitten). I think it'll be a mix of 1 and 3? Like the screams and the continual revolution.

Taiwan's having some public gay parade on Sept 27th, she'll probably know about it and say "eeww" not knowing her daughter is a silent supporter. They say Taiwan's the freest city you can live in if you're gay. Honestly God I think I'm in the wrong body even though I thought this gay shop assistant was cute last night. He was friggin' whining to my mum 'cause she kept asking for a discount. HAHA. Oh fuck, when can Western culture ever replace Asian values? I feel like brainwashing every Chinese I see on the streets now. Incorporate some new thinking in them. Like hello, love is love, no matter whether you're guy or girl. LOVE IS LOVE HELLO. That should be my mission. Lol, when I become a publicly known gay celebrity or something. Please reincarnate me into the Western world if I am to be gay next life again. Ok I just wish to be normal. Ellen and Portia are so lucky. I think they waited long enough to get married.

And how does it feel to have a gay friend?

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 17:07:56 GMT

fuck off typhoon. the window pane's screaming pain.

ANDROGYNY'S THE THING BABEH

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 08:27:38 GMT

oh god agyness, you've gotta be joking. how on earth did you get so hot?

omgawd omgawd you need to stop smiling at me it's really getting contagious

hello meow

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 16:57:41 GMT

Tonight I brought back a stray cat with beautiful yellow eyes. Tomorrow I'm gonna' so fuckin' die when my dad sees her.

random

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 15:13:52 GMT

beside this entry there's this advertisement that says:

5 Tips to Get a Flat Stomach

Learn the truth about:
*ab exercises
*fat loss methods
*diet pill scams
*stubborn belly fat and more

and a pic of a man with 8pack.

then my stomach's feeling all queasy right now.

i have an 8pack too you know.. just that they are all siblings and swore to stay together forever.

(hello anyone, i miss playing bridge you know..)